When I was in 6th standard, my dad lost everything in business, and we were in deep financial stress. We lost our house, and for four years we were forced to stay behind our shop. This phase was challenging as I saw the ugly side of society. My relatives would maintain a distance. At social gatherings, people would behave differently. These events were shaping my beliefs. I understood very early in life; people treat you, by the amount of money you possess in your life.
I think these years took a toll on my personality. I started to grow up very fearful of what people would think of me. I never showed my friends my place of residence. There was an element of shame associated with it. I would never open my mouth in school, even if I knew the answer to a teacher’s question. I would always agree with my friend’s views.
As time passed by, I went into a shell. I was never comfortable going into a new social environment. I would avoid going to a new gathering. Just created my little bubble and would interact with my people. If I meet a new person, I would not be very receptive.
Now you must be wondering how all of this is related to Social Freedom. Let me explain further, all of us have a voice in our head that says don’t do this as people are watching you. Many might have wanted to do one thing but did the other as you wanted people to think nicely of you. If we see an attractive girl and want to talk to her, we wouldn’t do it as we are conditioned by society that is not the right thing to do. Now there are endless examples; I’m sure you get the point here.
Social Freedom is when you live life on your terms. You don’t care about other people’s opinions of you. You are chasing your dreams and living an ideal life.
There are two types of pressure:
1) Peer Pressure: We behave in a certain way because of what other people may think of us.
Example: You want to meet a girl in a social gathering, but you don’t do as others are watching.
2) Societal Pressure: It is something that is deemed acceptable by others. These come from family, teachers, mass media, and so on.
Example: Get good marks, Get a job, Get married and settle down with kids by 30.
It’s like everyone is doing their best to please others and conform to societal norms. People are living lives where they are suffering daily to be normal. Just look around you, so many people are not aware they are doing this. We are keeping ourselves locked in the prison of our mind.
We are fed by the system that we need to be tall, rich, and handsome to meet a girl for us. Women are advised to be skinny, fair to find the best provider for them. It would be best if you had a steady job. There is no truth to any of the stories that are passed on from generations. We are born free, and we should live free to the best of our capabilities. Don’t buy into the beliefs that are given by the government or mainstream media.
Back in 2013, I wanted to improve my dating life, and I met this gentleman named Alex Lasarev (Sasha). He was visiting India, so I went to his event. He was challenging the status quo. Here I learnt the concept of living a free life. He was a dating coach, but he didn’t speak about talking to girls in the event. The main message was to live your life authentically. We already have so many masks and hiding our real personalities so people shouldn’t think we are weird. He also advised us that ultimate happiness comes when your work is your passion. Find a mentor and work for free with him, till you master the skills. Don’t take up a job you hate or be in a relationship you don’t like. Life is short so live it according to your terms.
I enrolled with them for an online course to improve my dating life. Now the fun part was the social freedom exercises I had to go through. It was insane exercises that I didn’t even dare to think. For Eg: Like staring at a window of a busy restaurant. People will think you are mentally disabled, but you will feel amazing at that moment. Before the exercise, I use to think about what people will think of me. Post the training; I would understand that most of the fear is in your mind. People don’t care about you. They are busy engrossed in their head. Suddenly, you realize that no one is paying attention to you. You become free, and others don’t have any powers over you. This concept is powerful, as slowly you start, you realize that there are many lies you have been telling yourself. The effect begins to impact other areas of your life. You go to your boss and ask for a raise. You leave an unhealthy relationship. Your relationship with yourself improves. You stop taking other people’s nonsense. You are socially free now, and it is an incredible feeling in the world.
Just look at kids, they don’t care about others. When they are four or five, they do whatever they feel like doing. You must have seen kids jumping up and down all naked, in a full room. They don’t even care what others think of him as they not been conditioned yet. The same thing with older people, after a certain point, they don’t care about people’s opinion. They have returned to a childlike state of mind.
You must be thinking about the potential of living free, and the possibilities are endless. You can start a business, travel the world, or live life on your terms. Social Freedom is the answer. It would be best if you built the habit of pushing your comfort zone and taking small risks daily. Most people go out of their way to avoid uncomfortable situations, and you must do the opposite. You must be looking for opportunities to face the awkwardness. You must take a chance and push some social boundaries.
– When you face your fears daily, it has no control over you.
– This one issue of you thinking what others will think of me has destroyed so many people’s life.
– Whenever someone offers a free solution, ask him to pay your bills, and he will run away.
– Except our mother, nobody cares about you. Don’t decide any course of action based on other’s opinions.
– Being normal is not ok (Behaving to fit in); all the people who have changed the world were termed weird by the same society.
– Remember you train people how to treat you. Don’t take other people’s nonsense.
– There is a difference between insanity and social freedom. Please don’t misuse this power, with great power comes great responsibility. You don’t need to be rude or do anything crazy to be socially free.
– The last point, you have only one life, live your best self. You don’t need permission from anyone.
This is Shekar, signing off, I see you in the next one.