Beth wakes up at 10 AM, crawls to the bathroom, washes her face, and by the time thinking what to eat it’s no longer a Breakfast though a Lunchtime. She orders junk from outside, watches the idiot box, and feels life is good though something is missing. She is unsure of what is missing!
Cough, Vomit is a regular issue that comes with this Kicking lifestyle .i.e. eating junk, going to parties tonight, Booz around, making some jokes, and expecting people to laugh. She keeps telling this to herself; I am so funny.
Beth cannot understand that people live in relationships and there are people who have healthy eating habits. The philosophy is simple, we only live once, and let’s live fully. Her friends keep changing, and can’t be friends with one person for long. Always judge others, always see people are not talking to her but commenting on her failures.
Beth cries like crazy at solitude times as she is 25 though she looks 35 years and has no boyfriend. Well, life is boring when she is not in front of the TV or boozing around at a party or eating junk.
Her uncle was a doctor and visited her apartment, did her checkup, and warned her of fatty liver that may kill her. Well, this is the last thing she needed to hear as she wasn’t ready for this. This calls for another junk food trip, visit the outlet, eat lots of junk and think about what to do next.
Ah, junk was tasty. Who cares what to do next. It’s ok if she dies early, who needs her anyway. No one loves her, she doesn’t love anyone. In the last 35 years of sorry 25 years, not made a single good relationship with anyone. She could recollect all the phony relationships, material, selfish beings who only think of themselves, and that’s where she counts herself into.
Beth is a store girl. Her job is good enough to buy junk food, pay one-bedroom rent, watch TV, cheap beer in the refrigerator. Day in Beth’s life–Wakes up at 10 AM, Store job from 2 PM to 10 PM, Party till 2 AM and Repeat. On Weekends and Holidays, she replaces the Store Job by watching Idiot Box (TV).
Beth’s parents died early, with no distant relatives except Doctor uncle, who is busy with his profession. He meets her once every 3 months and sometimes in 6 months. Beth had one crush at college, though the guy dumped her after a month of the relationship. She is not god-fearing or god loving, no dreams, no goals, can watch anything on TV lately liking horror movies & episode series. Her weight is gaining every day as she hates exercise.
Life is Good! That’s what Beth is feeling, though sometimes at her solitude, she feels something wrong.
It’s like everyone’s life is running, and her life is stopped. Well, this thought comes, and then she sleeps over it and then back to the next day.
Beth has heard herself ‘Looser’ from so many people she started believing herself as ‘Looser’ and does not object or get hurt if someone is saying so. She is emotionally weak, though she does not show her weakness to anyone. Her parents were poor and never had intentions to let Beth do higher education.
Beth hates Rich people, and she hates God too because she couldn’t understand how God can make some people live a rich life and a few poor. She hates this partiality. In a nutshell, Beth was insecure about her life and hated herself. She hoped that someday she will love herself.
Beth had a colleague in store. Her name was ‘Kate’, she was the only one whom Beth could speak her mind out. Kate was a social media person, she every day used to post her pictures, brag about her, look for likes, appreciation, and was hoping to hook with her prince charming.
One afternoon, Kate told Beth about Store restructuring. The store is firing people and is blaming the economy, the same business going down for reasons.
This freaks her out. Well, money was the only thing that was coming month over month and helping to pay for her junk food, apartment rent, etc. Beth didn’t have good health or great relationships and it seems ‘Money problems’ may join the bandwagon.
As they say, What you focus on expands, and Beth’s name was listed in the ‘firing list’. She was out within a week with the little severance package. She was shattered, broken completely, got sick, and was hospitalized for a week. The hospital took the money she saved and the little severance package in name of hospital fees.
She approached her friend ‘Kate’ though ‘Kate’ isn’t in a mood to help her or anyone else. In fact, few people insulted her. They told her they wonder why the current situation has come so late to her. They told her she should have killed herself, and they wonder how she still exists.
It was 14th Dec. morning, when she woke up and felt different. She got thought of turning around her life. She had seen the lowest part of her life and had a belief that whatever will happen will be good only.
People’s comments didn’t frustrate Beth any longer. She found a new ‘Ray of Hope’ in her life. She got the urge to ‘Create a new and beautiful life’. She needed to gather all her life’s broken pieces and build a beautiful story around it.
This was the day, she wrote an email to herself, that irrespective of the people’s judgments, her self judgment, her fear, her pain, her weaknesses, she has no right to live a mediocre life. She will not let her pain overrule her life. She will no longer let life run her, though she will run her life.
Beth sent the next set of emails to all the critics, old friends, family members. The body of the message was a Sincere Plain Thank You Note. She thanked them for thinking about her. Beth put her intentions, she has no grudges, hatred with anyone, and she also asked for forgiveness. This requires guts and beth did it.
Beth was clear that she needs to take responsibility for her life. Enough of seeking sympathy and giving reasons she can’t be good. These were all the thoughts coming to her when she was drinking coffee at the coffee shop. She was thinking about how she could turn around her lazy, disorganized life and suddenly saw few marathon runners pass by the coffee shop.
She got a powerful urge to do a marathon. She knew she needed a GOAL. A Big Audacious GOAL and marathon qualify a Big Audacious Goal knowing she was heavily built with the extra pounds and had to work on her Health as a Priority.
She built the Priority List right there at Coffee Shop:
- Run a Marathon
- Get the Job at Store (Contract)
- Get Married
- Have Beautiful Kids
- Make good friends you can die for and they can die for you (Loving relationships)
Well, now she had a reason to live and love herself. She took out the newspaper and looked at the classified section and started searching for the job. Within 3 weeks, she had a job and a nice one-bedroom apartment.
It’s so true when you decided you need to achieve something then all the cosmic world’s energy conspires you to achieve it.