How well you manage yourself?
Can you work towards your goal consistently?
Do you give up too soon when obstacles come?
Do you have a positive outlook or a negative outlook towards others?
Are you able to communicate positively?
These are all emotional intelligence competency that matters for happiness and success in your life.
At Workplace, you are continuously interacting with team members, colleagues, management, and clients. The extent to which you understand what others are thinking, feeling, and how they process the information is really important to ensure the interactions are positive, productive, and lead to the best possible outcome. This extent of understanding and managing yourself and others around you Completely depends on how well you can use your Emotional Intelligence Skills(EI Skills).
Studies have shown that best leaders with high Emotional intelligence are better skilled at making connections and motivating their teams where people are Engaged, Inspired, and ultimately Perform better.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is an abstract psychological concept not easily displayed through a mathematical equation nor put on a table for display at “Show & Tell” at school, many people still do not recognize the value of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is very real and maybe the single most important variable as it relates to our human productivity, wellness, and overall happiness.
It is a Dimension of Intelligence. It is something that affects all of us, every day of our lives, and in each interaction that we have with others. According to Daniel Goleman, an author and science journalist, the four major domains of Emotional Intelligence (EI) are:-
- Ability to be aware of our own emotions
- Ability to manage our emotions
- Ability to be aware of others emotions
- Ability to use the above three domains to build strong and healthy relationships
Studies show that as much as 80% of the average person’s success, in both their personal life and career, can be attributed to their level of Emotional Intelligence.
So if we can learn to Conquer, Cultivate, and Enhance our Emotional Intelligence Skills(EI Skills), we will have greater mastery over our Happiness and Success.
I am going to walk you through the 3 practical and actionable strategies to help you go further with this important skill which will help you gain visibility as a strong emotionally intelligent contributor with real leadership potential.
NOTE:- The practical and actionable strategies mentioned here can be practiced in personal life situations as well, which can help you achieve happiness and peace in all areas of your life.
1 Strategy 1 - To become better at Identifying your Emotional State
If I ask you right now what is your emotional state?
Some of you might take a minute or two to answer and this has become a very natural part of our life. The reality is we are actually not particularly good at articulating what emotion we are feeling at a given time.
This first strategy is about Self- Awareness.
If in case, you react emotionally to something that happens at work, maybe someone said anything or reacted in a way you were not expecting or any high-pressure situation you never has faced before.
How can you articulate your emotional state before throwing any reaction:-
1. Pause! Have Mindful thinking about your emotional state. Don't let your feelings rule you
2. Rather than reacting to it you become aware of what is happening to your mind and body
3. "Attachment Theory" in psychology indicates How you experience emotions is likely a reflection of your early life experiences .Your ability to manage your core emotions like anger, sadness, fear depends on the quality and consistency of the attachment you developed with your caretaker as a child. Being aware of what kind of emotions your are feeling is key to understand how emotions influence your thoughts and your actions.
4. Keep track of which kind of emotion you are feeling. Identify your energy state.
According to psychology, all Emotions have energy. Identify the energy state of your emotions.
According to psychology emotions can be classified as:-
- High-intensity emotions -( happiness ,anger)
- Low-intensity emotions-(calmness, sadness)
- Positive emotions -( Joy, happiness)
- Negative emotions -(anger, jealousy)
This will help you, self-coach.
- Are you feeling a negative emotion or a positive emotion?
- What emotional state you are in?
- What made you made you feel this way?
- What were you triggered by?
- Will it be productive to react in this manner?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Thinking this way will help you create an immediate distance from whatever the source of emotion is and will help you move into a more positive state and help you give a desired productive reaction.
Note:-Remember! ! there is no such thing as good or bad emotion there are only good or bad reactions to your emotions.
2 Strategy -2 - To become better at Identifying and Understanding Others Emotional State
When we talk about emotional intelligence, other than understanding ourselves self a large part is learning to identify and understand other's emotions.
Give an insight into how others are feeling, what is their emotional state, and what is their perspective.
How to do this:-
1. Listen to what others are saying
2. Observe their physical expressions
3. Observe their tone
4. Observe their Body language
5. Be Curious- Instead of just taking something at face value ask them about the
" why and what " of their thinking, reaction, and opinions.
This strategy will let you be in another person's shoes. It is all about being Empathetic.
Whenever we interact with the people around us, we humans tend to remember the negative emotions or experiences more deeply. These negative experiences create a kind of HOOK in our subconscious mind which pulls us back to build a positive relationship with that person.
If you want to be happy and successful in your life empathize and Let Go. We create so many such hooks that give us immense pain. These HOOKS start controlling us and our reactions.
It is our responsibility to work on this and remove all these hooks from our past life and also from the present situations. So that at one point of time no one can have control over us.
Take control back of your emotions and feel free from all the past negative experiences.
Always remember Empathy is good for us and also make difference in other persons life.
So this strategy will not only enable you to connect deeper with the people but to also offer support and help to the people.
3 Focus on Building Relationships
Once you are aware of your emotional state and other people's emotional state, now it is time to use this to build strong relationships.
Focus on how you work with others socially and professionally which will make your relationships more effective and enjoyable.
How To do this?
1. Become aware of your Non- Verbal Communication -
- The emotional part of your brain is always working so even if you try to ignore this the others might be picking on it.
- If someone says something to you that you disagree with, Do you immediately show it in your expression?
- If you are suspicious of something or someone, Does that shine through on your face?
- If you ignore your Non - verbal communication, you may unintentionally end up communicating that you don't want to.
2. Handel stress with laughter:-When you are aware and mindful about what you are projecting yourself in front of others, you will be able to identify the stressful situations and then skillfully bring in some humor to help relieve stress. This might be relevant at work, or during a stressful meeting, or even for yourself in your personal life.
"Laughter connects you with people. it is almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you are just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy."-John Cleese, a famous English actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer.
Laughter brings in -
- Nervous system into balance
- Reduces stress
- Reduce anxiety
- Make you calm
- Sharpen your mind
- Makes you more empathic
- Makes you more lovable
3. See Conflict as an opportunity to grow
- When there is any disagreement or conflict seek the reason behind that.
- Look beneath the surface to understand the interests that other people are protecting.
- Try to encourage them to shift their perspective
- Separate yourself from the situation emotionally and realise that any conflict is an opportunity for you to grow as a person.
Bob Marley, a Jamaican singer-songwriter once said, "The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."CONFLICT IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH: the best way to resolve conflict is to see it as an opportunity for growth. Growth has only one sure path and it is through conflict.
Final Thoughts - on Power of using Emotional Intelligence Skills(EI) in achieving a Happy and Successful Life:-
"Life has its way of putting you through the wringer. The power of our EMOTIONS can control our well being. If we allow it to be willing to keep the FAITH and never lose Hope, Adapt, and Adjust. - D.Watkins, an author.
HOPE THIS BLOG POST HAS ADDED VALUE TO YOUR LIFE.