Stress the most recklessly used word, but definitely indicating an uneasiness we suffer. At any given point we all have experienced. Go back to your childhood. At least I can recollect so many events that happened, which continued to affect me in my teens and even later. Events happened still as I kept growing and the cumulative effect completely got me off track, I experienced bouts of depression, my relationships got affected. I battled depression with medications and other self-help books, but not until I started analyzing my patterns and the patterns I saw in people around including patients that I realized, it’s our choice to stay stressed up. There is really no need.
Events worse than what I had have been suffered by others, but they didn’t sulk the way I was sulking. Why? It’s this that made me study their lives and realize that medicine corrects the defects in your body that are arising out of your stress reaction. With Homeopathic medicine possibly I might be able to change the way you react, but it won’t be long term if these common, basic timeless yogic values aren’t imbibed by us. The reversal of the effects of stress is much faster and predictable than now it’s a conscious effort at breaking your cycle of suffering and stress.
Here are 17 simple hacks that seem so non-significant but are impactful. A note, practicing just a single isn’t of use, practicing any of them randomly too isn’t. Go step by step and see yourself calming down. Resistances are a lot that you will encounter. But practice and you will benefit for sure. These steps are to be consciously done daily like brushing teeth, having food if you wanna really develop resilience. Be consistent.
The event has happened, period. You can’t do anything about what’s done. Think about accepting it and its results or at the most, what next you can do.
2 DON'T JUSTIFY OR RATIONALIZE
Why give excuses and try to show that had this not been the case, I would have done this and then and this wouldn’t have happened. We usually say that. I still see myself though not so frequent, that had I got a train on time, I would have reached on time. Now that I know it's me who wasn’t on time to catch the train on time, I focus on saying. “I am sorry, I am late”. No reasons, no excuses or pity. “I am late. And I will see that this doesn’t happen next time”.
3 DON'T PLEASE PEOPLE
It’s energy-draining. I realized it the hard way. After experiencing major feelings of neglect, unworthiness, and guilt. I realized that even if I become the best doormat, there will be people saying you aren’t a good one. What’s the use of becoming a doormat if you are going to lose your identity. Their demands will keep increasing if the more you start pleasing till your energy is sucked out and you wonder what’s wrong with you.
4 DON'T CRITICIZE
People are going to be just the way they are. Different from you. The way you have all 5 fingers of different sizes. We have different finger size for a purpose, imagine not having a thumb but a finger-like your index finger. Would you even be able to hold a cup, pencil, or cook? Purpose. Different shapes, people with different mindsets are there with a purpose. To inspire or to teach you some lessons. Don’t belittle and get into that vicious cycle of gossiping and criticizing, it serves no good.
5 STOP BLAMING
Just imagine, you are on a bus, you fell when you got pushed, which happened because the driver gave a sudden break, which was because he wanted to save a small girl. Now whom will you blame? All events may not be like this obvious, but there is some connection. Even if you don’t find one, just understand, blaming makes you a victim. Would you like to blame? Coz people in power take action, the ones who aren’t in power feel helpless and blame. Where do you want to be?
6 TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Unless you do that you will be at mercy feeling victimized. There are ripple effects of other’s actions on us. But if we act on it mindfully, we decide where we want to head. Or we have people saying, “No one gave me a job; Govt — it’s your responsibility to take care of us, etc”. Take charge of your own life to paddle your own canoe. Be it of your mental and physical health, take up the responsibility yourself.
7 DON'T BE A CONTROL FREAK
I have seen people, especially mothers saying, I get irritated if the house is in a mess so I end up cleaning it frequently, which further irritates me, leaving no time for hobbies, etc. Who’s loss? What are you doing this for? To feel less stress, or to get more stressed. You can’t control anything frankly. Allot a time to do and give others also the responsibility to do things unless you don’t want to live like a zombie.
8 LEARN TO FORGIVE
Be easy on yourself. Don’t expect so much, it's ok to fail, falter. Just forgive yourself for the things that you did knowingly or unknowingly. Carrying anger, hurt or revenge for people who have hurt or harmed us long back or in the recent past is like carrying a lump of hot coal in our pal. It's going to hurt us furthermore. Just forgive them too for all things done knowingly and unknowingly and throw off those negative feelings.
9 DEVELOP FAITH AND HAVE GRATITUDE
Things happen for a higher purpose. And it’s in these stressful moments that you might meet the best of the people, learn the best of the lessons or get the best of the things. Have faith and thank you for all the goodies that you have been receiving so far. More of that will just pour in.
10 BECOME AN ACTIVE LISTENER AND LEARN TO COMMUNICATE THE RIGHT WAY
Much of the stress these days is because of miscommunication. We enjoy telling but fail to listen with our 2 ears. Listening, not just hearing is golden. A thing we all want that someone does when we talk. We want to be heard. So unintentionally you will understand the person, the event, and the cause of stress, and then when effectively communicated, guess what? Voila! Problem solved.
11 LOOK AT THE THINGS / EVENTS FROM AN ANOTHER ANGLE
We can’t solve any event by staying in the same mindset, we have to rise above it or change the angle, to get better. Also understanding the other’s point of view makes us empathetic and a person who is good to be with.
12 DON'T CARRY GUILT, YOU DID YOUR BEST
Carrying the guilt is the heaviest thing. People will have expectations, but you aren’t supposed to live up to for all of that feeling guilty and miserable. Instead, just smile and walk away if any event has gone wrong. There is a good chance that it didn’t happen for your own good. Feel blessed not guilty
13 FOCUS ON SELF DEVELOPMENT
When we focus on the event that’s gone, on the person who might have harmed us, we make ourselves a victim and a candidate of self-pity who can’t accomplish anything. Instead focusing on self from now on your skills, on your passions only makes you more adaptable and skillful. Thereby getting a better mindset and skillset to deal with any adversity in the future.
14 FIGURE OUT YOUR PURPOSE
Gradually you will know why a particular event happened and why a particular skill you have. To live a life of purpose that’s what will be known then. It might seem far-fetched, to begin with, and scary or unachievable. Break them into small goals, yearly, monthly, weekly, and maybe daily. You will only get closer to it. And with this drive, you will start taking every adversity now as a challenge, not as stressful.
15 CONTRIBUTE / HELP
We feel pain or loss that’s irreplaceable with the death of a loved one or financial breakdown. We know for sure that we all are going to experience some of the other forms of pain. Helping someone, often helps us learn a lesson we fail to. It is a heartwarming and often healing experience. Worth trying.
I have been applying them in my life personally and observed that as you do follow step by step you automatically move on with ease to the next one. You can’t begin to follow your purpose and keep feeling bad about the family support or someone’s comment on you. I realized over a period of time, it’s all about going with the flow. When you start letting go of heavier things that stress you and pull you down, you move towards discovering your purpose. It wasn’t until I gathered the courage to forgive myself, people around me, and got a bit easier with things around that I discovered my purpose. I may not contribute monetarily everywhere, but whatever I do now is an act of karma yoga, an action without expectation of fruit. Over the years I have realized that events will keep happening and adversities we will be facing. They will be happening to level us up, to makes us a better person. Which we can see only if we can sit down and connect the dots... The pattern is unique trust me. Don’t overstress. Let’s glide and flow with the flow.
What do you think? Are they worth a try? Do let me know in your comments below